Letting Go…

Letting go of control…the idea that I have any semblance of control at all over my fate…accepting whatever “is” and letting go of all the rest… I think it was Neko Case who once said Nature is a control freak. I think it’s funny when we personify nature like that. Like, you’d think she wouldContinue reading “Letting Go…”

Feed Yourself First

“Be yourself—everyone else is already taken.” -Oscar Wilde It seems like there is a maze between my heart and my mouth. I am learning to navigate it daily, how to chart it faithfully and compassionately, without judgement towards myself. There is a powerful light inside me, but powerful darkness too.  I ate a good dinnerContinue reading “Feed Yourself First”

Spooky//”Cherub”

It’s Halloween. I’m feeling very spooky tonight—though less like the witch I’ve been alluding to in previous posts and more like a ghost. I’m a little worried I’m on the edge of another manic episode.  I’m determined not to require medicine. I know it can be done with the help of regular exercise and aContinue reading “Spooky//”Cherub””

Mary Oliver Saves me, Again

Wow, what a day. I am so glad it’s over. For some reason, today was a tidal wave of self-loathing and grief. I ended up excusing myself from class for fifteen minutes to sob uncontrollably in the single-occupancy restroom. I couldn’t even tell you why—I felt so inconsolably alone, so wretched, so hideous, so ego-maniacal…IContinue reading “Mary Oliver Saves me, Again”

The Ride, Not the Result

Well, another inspiring day in class. We talked about chordophones today, beginning in ancient Persia (so we think) roughly 3,300 years ago. We talked at length about how, as instruments traveled along the Silk Road, they were invariably influenced by the new environments they found themselves in—various iterations would be built with different “ingredients,” soContinue reading “The Ride, Not the Result”

Magnolia Breeze/New Guitar!!

Ok, so it’s time for another blog post.  I got a new guitar today. A used Gretch with flat-wound strings—she’s so easy to play, she just glides into whatever song I want her to be…it’s love… I can’t stop thinking about her. I want to touch her all the time, every day, from here onContinue reading “Magnolia Breeze/New Guitar!!”

Thinking Too Hard, Once Again, About the Human Condition

For some reason, I woke up with the idea of “devotion” on my mind. According to the dictionary, it is defined as “love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person, activity or cause” and stems from the Latin word devovere, “to consecrate.” It seems devotion ranges from simple appreciation to arduous worship, depending on where youContinue reading “Thinking Too Hard, Once Again, About the Human Condition”