Mistress Mary, Quite Contrary

I’ve been thinking about Edvard Munch’s “The Scream” painting a lot today for some reason. I’ve always taken it as a very somber reflection of the horrors of humanity, but upon looking at it today, it really is a very silly little caricature of a face. That might be a blasphemous attitude to take regardingContinue reading “Mistress Mary, Quite Contrary”

Letting Go…

Letting go of control…the idea that I have any semblance of control at all over my fate…accepting whatever “is” and letting go of all the rest… I think it was Neko Case who once said Nature is a control freak. I think it’s funny when we personify nature like that. Like, you’d think she wouldContinue reading “Letting Go…”

Feed Yourself First

“Be yourself—everyone else is already taken.” -Oscar Wilde It seems like there is a maze between my heart and my mouth. I am learning to navigate it daily, how to chart it faithfully and compassionately, without judgement towards myself. There is a powerful light inside me, but powerful darkness too.  I ate a good dinnerContinue reading “Feed Yourself First”

Spooky//”Cherub”

It’s Halloween. I’m feeling very spooky tonight—though less like the witch I’ve been alluding to in previous posts and more like a ghost. I’m a little worried I’m on the edge of another manic episode.  I’m determined not to require medicine. I know it can be done with the help of regular exercise and aContinue reading “Spooky//”Cherub””

Mary Oliver Saves me, Again

Wow, what a day. I am so glad it’s over. For some reason, today was a tidal wave of self-loathing and grief. I ended up excusing myself from class for fifteen minutes to sob uncontrollably in the single-occupancy restroom. I couldn’t even tell you why—I felt so inconsolably alone, so wretched, so hideous, so ego-maniacal…IContinue reading “Mary Oliver Saves me, Again”

The Ride, Not the Result

Well, another inspiring day in class. We talked about chordophones today, beginning in ancient Persia (so we think) roughly 3,300 years ago. We talked at length about how, as instruments traveled along the Silk Road, they were invariably influenced by the new environments they found themselves in—various iterations would be built with different “ingredients,” soContinue reading “The Ride, Not the Result”