Mantra Formation

Well, today I performed my song called “Le Prof” in front of the class. I was so nervous because it is essentially a gesture of love for the class itself and everyone in it, and I felt very vulnerable sharing it through song, which is so intimately connected to my emotional self. I am beginning to see how truly disconnected and hidden I am from my emotions. Music is, without a doubt, healing me. This is a reality I cannot ignore any longer and brush aside as an inconvenience. I now know it has to be my life, if I am going to learn how to love myself, love others, and to fully live. 

I think I am so caught up in planning my next move that I forget to just relax and be. I don’t really know how to fix this except meditation, meditation through prayer, meditation through repetition, meditation through practice. I need to find the zen in the practice, instead of resenting it and thinking it a waste of time.

This requires that I get serious about my time management ability…like, it’s time to actually use that lovely planner I bought myself in Salt Lake City. And when I give myself time to do a thing, I need to follow through and do the thing, not think about doing the thing, not procrastinate about doing the thing, not change my mind on a whim and do another thing…Do the Thing

Maybe that’s my new mantra. With love in my heart, I will do the thing. With a mind set on self-love and furthering of knowledge, I will do the thing. In an effort to be a better human being, I will do the thing. It’s all about doing the thing.

I feel so inspired by my classmates, all around. I feel incredibly blessed—I will remember this quarter at college for the rest of my life, that much I know. I don’t really know how I want to go forward with garnering intimacy, trust, friendship, borderline familial relations with everyone, but I feel the desire very strongly. But I suppose you can’t really be yourself while essentially wooing 25 different people…(And how can I be myself? DO THE THING.)I have so much love in my heart this afternoon and I don’t know how to feel it, to process it, to keep it warm and safe like a nightlight in the dark. I suppose this blogpost will have to do—that is until another song pops out. Do the thing. Do the thing. Do the thing.

Published by Hannah

Just yer average girl next door.

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